Love and Limits

I have been teaching parenting classes for the last 4 years. Mostly to extremely dysfunctional families. The buzz words are "Love and Limits" finding the balance. Too much "Limits" and no "Love" create rebellious, bitter, controlling, and perfectionist children and adults... Too much "Love" and no "Limits" is supposed to create children and adults with no boundaries, no structure, no understanding of the real world... basically spoiled monsters.

I often use my upbringing as examples in my classes. ( I have great stories thanks to my siblings and my mom and dad, some stories are not believeable!) A couple of weeks ago I was at the Juvenile Detention Center teaching parenting and Fatherhood Classes to ajudicated 15-18 year olds. (I love those guys... again thanks to my upbringing) I was telling a story from my family and I began to cry. We were discussing "Self-Image" and what feeds it. How parents from infancy create either positive or negative self-image in their children based on what they tell them. I spoke of how my mother always told me how beautiful, kind and talented I am. Then showed a picture of me in 7th grade. My teeth were jacked up, my hair was mousy and stringy, I had bulging eyes... Not a pretty sight! But nonetheless I have always believed myself to be beautiful, talented, and kind because of the endless or unconditional love of my Mother (and father). I always thought you needed a balance of "Love" and "Limits" to become a healthy adult. I have since learned that I would rather err on the side of "Love" with my children and change who they see themselves as and who they become because of my too much "Love".

Thank you mom for your example of Christlike love!

Happy Belated Birthday!