Love and Limits

I have been teaching parenting classes for the last 4 years. Mostly to extremely dysfunctional families. The buzz words are "Love and Limits" finding the balance. Too much "Limits" and no "Love" create rebellious, bitter, controlling, and perfectionist children and adults... Too much "Love" and no "Limits" is supposed to create children and adults with no boundaries, no structure, no understanding of the real world... basically spoiled monsters.

I often use my upbringing as examples in my classes. ( I have great stories thanks to my siblings and my mom and dad, some stories are not believeable!) A couple of weeks ago I was at the Juvenile Detention Center teaching parenting and Fatherhood Classes to ajudicated 15-18 year olds. (I love those guys... again thanks to my upbringing) I was telling a story from my family and I began to cry. We were discussing "Self-Image" and what feeds it. How parents from infancy create either positive or negative self-image in their children based on what they tell them. I spoke of how my mother always told me how beautiful, kind and talented I am. Then showed a picture of me in 7th grade. My teeth were jacked up, my hair was mousy and stringy, I had bulging eyes... Not a pretty sight! But nonetheless I have always believed myself to be beautiful, talented, and kind because of the endless or unconditional love of my Mother (and father). I always thought you needed a balance of "Love" and "Limits" to become a healthy adult. I have since learned that I would rather err on the side of "Love" with my children and change who they see themselves as and who they become because of my too much "Love".

Thank you mom for your example of Christlike love!

Happy Belated Birthday!

He's almost 40 and still alive...

Here's a Happy Birthday shout out to Lee. Today he is 38...

The miracle is that he is alive. I don't think he hoped or thought he would live this long...He is always sure he has "Hanta Virus, West Nile, Skin Cancer, Just plain old Cancer, Heart Disease, Brain Tumor, Bird Flu etc". (In that way he and Shani are very alike. Very in tune with every ailment and slight dysfunction in their body. )

Anyways turns out Today he has none. He is just a 38 year old Petroleum engineer at ConocoPhillips who gets up and is at work every morning at 7:00am and comes home at 6:00pm. I know this is not the life he dreamed of or dreams of, but his family appreciates him taking a break from his endless quest for knowledge, horses, and creating a legacy so we can be settled for the moment.

Happy Birthday to the most Brilliant, Complex, Funny, and Spiritual Man I have ever Loved!

Cyclone Lake Camping Trip

Mirrors and Gardens

Wendy has been helping me decorate my house. I finally put some mirrors up in the Dining Room and also made my own framed music art. Not necessarily what Pottery Barn has but cheaper and I am cheaper. Here is a picture of my first tomatoes and poppies. Neither are in my garden that I have been waiting 5 years for. ( That is not doing so well) but I am pleased to have tomatoes.

Let me know what you think about the Dining Room/Music Room!

Cheap Summer Fun

We just spent a week at the Beach and a whole lot of money. I planned a variety of"good" activities and signed my kids up for summer camps. However the only thing they want to do is play in the Walmart $14.00 swimming pool and make water balloons. I could have saved mucho $$'s if I would have know this is all they wanted.

The Horror's of Fishing with Dad

Trey caught four fish while at the Father's and Son's outing in Lemon Dam, Colorado.
Lee was so proud of him. When I asked Trey about catching fish he told me the terrible thing that his dad said about catching the fish and keeping them. "We are only able to keep them if we cut them open, take out the guts, and cut their head off!" He said he just wanted to keep one for a pet because they were so beautiful. I don't think realized what terror he struck in his 6 year old son's heart with his tale of beheading such a beautiful creature. Needless to say no fish came home from the trip.

Check out my Slide Show!